


Pesto Or PestNO

by Lacrimula_Falsa



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 02:05:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15985280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrimula_Falsa/pseuds/Lacrimula_Falsa
Summary: Tony, Steve and The Great Avengers Sauce Debate. The Avengers are all children. (Not literally, just mentally.) [AU, complete.]





	Pesto Or PestNO

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reioka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reioka/gifts).



> **_Disclaimer:_** I don’t own Marvel, the Marvel Cinematic Universe or the sauce aisle. I write for fun, not for profit.
> 
>  _A/N:_ Inspired by [this hilarious conversation between _reioka_ and _codeflaws_ on Tumblr](https://lacrimula-falsa.tumblr.com/post/177713991496). This can also be found [on my Tumblr](https://lacrimula-falsa.tumblr.com/post/177714066271/the-great-sauce-debate), which makes sense.

“How can you think pesto is disgusting? It’s the greatest sauce known to humankind! Easily one of _the_ top three inventions in history, and I’m including my own inventions in that.”

“More like _pest-NO_. It’s oily leaf mush! What’s wrong with tomato sauce?”

“The bought kind is always sour as shit.”

“That’s… not true.”

Tony shot Steve a vaguely pitying look.

“You’ve never _actually eaten_ pre-made tomato sauce, have you?”

“I—”

“Tony, Steve, we’ve been in the sauce aisle for an hour. Can we _please_ just take both sauces and go home?”

Steve and Tony looked at each other, then at Bruce.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

“Sounds fair. But I’m not carrying Tony’s leaf mush.”

“Children. You’re both children.”

“Yeah, but children who are rocking this team-building exercise.”

* * *

 

“What the hell is this!? This isn’t _pesto_ , this is a _disgrace_! Gahg! Is the supermarket food trying to kill me?!”

Bruce shot Tony a _Look_ over his glasses.

“Well it probably tastes different from the one your cook makes because it’s _from a supermarket_.”

“That cannot be the only reason! It tastes like… _oily leaf mush!_ ”

Bruce closed his book with a sigh.

“Okay. Just so you’ll quit whining. I’ll try it. So you can rest in peace knowing the supermarket food is _not_ trying to kill you. Only the supervillains are. ”

Bruce fetched a fork from the cutlery drawer, then twirled up a few spaghetti.

“My hero. But seriously. It tastes like shit.”

“Hm-hm.”

Bruce swallowed and then immediately made an “Aha!” face.

“Oh, that’s it. No, Tony, it tastes fine. The problem is that what you’re used to is ‘ _pesto alla genovese’_. That’s made with pine nuts and cheese. What they sell as 'pesto’ in most supermarkets is just basil leaves, oil and garlic.”

“Oh. That… makes a surprising amount of sense. I didn’t actually read the label, I mean who does that? But I think I need to apologise to Steve. And to find other food. Yuck.”

“Well, you can probably wait for Steve to apologise first. Apparently he bought sauce made from sun-dried tomatoes by accident. Nobody’s told him yet and there’s a bet going on whether or not he’ll eat it anyway because he hates throwing away food.”

Tony snickered, then caught himself.

“Wow. Not funny—”

He broke down into giggles again.

“—at all. You guys are mean. Superheroes shouldn’t do things like that to each other.”

Bruce just shrugged, stealing another forkful of spaghetti off Tony’s abandoned plate.

“What can I say. We’re all children.”

 


End file.
